“… But whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
… Matthew 5:22c
Communication is one of the founding pillars of any relationship. It could make or mar any relationship; it can also build or destroy a child before they become their own individual and be self-aware of their own reality.
Our communication pattern as adults has a large effect on our kids or wards, it therefore comes as no surprise individuals born before the mid nineties will have issues with the verbal affirmation of love to their kids, siblings or parents. It felt strange to just voice it out as it was not a communication dynamic a lot of people grew up with. Our communication pattern however does more as it defines what healthy and unhealthy communication dynamics are for our children or wards. It builds their vocabulary, their understanding of endearing and positive terms, and their understanding of negative and offensive terms.
So, a kid who goes up around adults who think it is cool to swear and use negative, racist and insensitive words will grow up thinking such words carry no weight and are quite normal. While it is understandable a lot of adults usually engage their kids in positive communication pattern, they sometimes ignore how they address others in the presence of their kids. This has a counter effect on the kids as they subconsciously learn to address people who aren’t dear to them in negative communication pattern.
As adults, we should endeavour to do away with negative words while rebuking our kids or wards, or while rebuking anyone at all. Words such as ‘Stupid’, ‘Idiot’, ‘Fool’ and a host of others should be fully deleted from our vocabulary. If the effect of our kids and wards picking up such terms doesn’t scare us, we can at least be scared of burning in hell fire for calling someone a fool. Besides, such words have bigger effects on the people they are used on by killing their confidence, ruining their day, and leaving permanent psychological damage on some.
Parents and guardians should always try to teach their kids and wards positive and building words when communicating at all times, irrespective of who they are engaging. Communication breeds courtesy in our kids, it breeds respect, and most importantly, it teaches our kids to pass their displeasure calmly without seeing the need to tear others down. It teaches them to always communicate with grace and poise to everyone, irrespective of their social status. Words are like swords and leave much deeper scar than we can imagine. Let’s help build a generation that seeks to build with words rather than tear people down with their words.